On love
by
Jim Holcomb
With Saint Valentine’s Day upon us, there are no shortage of encouragements to celebrate the romantic love in our life. We’re told that there is no greater gesture of love on this day than well-crafted chocolates, a stuffed teddy bear holding a heart, or maybe even dinner at your local Olive Garden (which is lovely). I contend, however, that love is meant to be recognized and celebrated more than once a year and certainly in ways that defy our marketing overlords.
Love, at its core, is the most powerful and transformative force in the world. Yet, to truly experience the depth and breadth of love, it must be placed in the right order: God first, others second, and ourselves third. This divine order doesn’t diminish self-worth or self-care but instead aligns our priorities in a way that allows love to flourish authentically and abundantly.
God First
Loving God first is the cornerstone of this order. It begins with recognizing and appreciating His divine creations—the beauty of nature, the complexity of life, and the miraculous ways He orchestrates our paths. When we love God first, we are acknowledging that He is the source of all love. This love is not just about words or rituals; it’s about cultivating a relationship with Him through prayer, gratitude, and obedience.
When asked by a teacher of the law “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” Jesus responded: “LOVE your God with all your soul and all your mind and all your strength. The second is this: “LOVE your neighbor as yourself.”
When we prioritize our relationship with loving God, we gain clarity, purpose, and an outpouring of love that spills over into our relationships with others. This divine love transforms our perspective, enabling us to see the world and the people in it through His eyes.
Others Second
The second in the order (and co-equal commandment) of love is to love others. When we place God first, we naturally become more attuned to the needs and feelings of those around us. Loving others doesn’t mean agreeing with everyone or never experiencing conflict; it means treating others with kindness, compassion, and respect, even when it’s challenging.
This type of love is selfless and sacrificial. It’s the kind of love that goes beyond surface-level interactions and invests in the well-being of others. It’s listening when someone needs to talk, offering a helping hand when someone is struggling, and forgiving even when it’s hard. Loving others second doesn’t make us weak; it makes us strong in our ability to reflect God’s love to the world.
In loving others, we find that our lives become richer and more meaningful. Relationships deepen, communities strengthen, and we experience the joy of being part of something greater than ourselves.
Me Third
Finally, we come to the third step: loving ourselves. This doesn’t mean neglecting self-care or undervaluing our worth. On the contrary, loving ourselves is essential, but it must be rooted in the understanding that our value comes from God. When we place ourselves third, we are not diminishing our importance; we are aligning ourselves with the divine order that brings true fulfillment.
Loving ourselves in the right way means seeing ourselves as God sees us: fearfully and wonderfully made. It means taking care of our bodies, minds, and spirits so that we can serve God and others effectively. It also means recognizing our own limitations and relying on God’s strength to carry us through.
When we place ourselves third, we free ourselves from the burden of selfishness and entitlement. Instead, we find joy and contentment in serving others and glorifying God. In this order, love becomes a cycle—God’s love flows into us, through us, and out to the world, only to return to Him in worship and gratitude.
Conclusion
Love in its proper order—God first, others second, and ourselves third—is not just a principle but a way of life. It’s a framework that allows us to experience love in its truest and most fulfilling form. By loving God first, we tap into the source of all love and gain the perspective to love others selflessly. By loving others second, we build relationships and communities that reflect God’s heart. And by loving ourselves third, we find our true worth and purpose in Him.
When love is in its rightful order, it transforms not just our lives but the lives of everyone around us. It’s a powerful reminder that love is not just about feelings, candy or stuffed bears; it’s about priorities, actions, and ultimately, a reflection of God’s divine design. Love greatens and glorifies all things.